saturday
it is 8:49, i am making green tea and tamagoyaki for breakfast. i drank the water/lemon/flax meal concoction. i took a shower. i have to be downtown to see my one and only private pay client at 10. i am going to blog while my eggs are setting up, then watch a little tv while i eat. vincent and josh are still asleep. josh will be in charge of vin until 2 pm.
my mama is meeting me afterwards, and we are going to get pedicures and waxing. then, we are going to go back to her house and dye our hair.
this will set my self care calendar for the NEXT time to…let’s say sunday the 25 of may. that is memorial day weekend. ok.
maintenance. i am taking myself in for a tune up today. maybe i can even drop off my car for a tune up. will ask mama to call sears at the mall or firestone.
will carry my 32 oz of lemon water. will stop by whole foods for my pomegranate water at some point.
today i am going to eat well, if not all cleanse-friendly. tomorrow, my plan is to begin the cleanse in earnest and for monday and tuesday, replace two meals a day with the shake i bought from the nutritionist. packing all cleanse foods for those days for the rest of my meal/snacks. giving digestion a rest, since yesterday and most likely today i put gluten and sugar in there.
have also decided to detox from my mom board, it is too much of a snake pit. more to follow on how and why communities of women seem to not be easy for me to stay in. it isn’t bacause “women are crazy” or any other misogynistic shit like that. it is something to do with our internalizing of patriarchal values, which i must be guilty of, and the subsequent struggle for dominance. another day. my tamagoyaki is ready.
friday
so today, although vincent is slightly congested, we are going out for a bit…to the zoo, because my kid is amazing and deserves it, then, maybe to the farmer’s market, cause mama wants to poke around. this is so close by, and i never go there, and i bitch about how much decent produce costs at whole foods, so i am being a bit of an idiot by not at least checking it out. if it doesn’t get too hot. it is already really, really warm and muggy and vincent and i both get cranky, fast, and overheated even faster. so, goal is to be at the zoo by 10:30, so that we can have a couple of hours before the oven really gets cranked up.
if it is too hot to head to the farmer’s market today, then i will do my bathroom project when we get home. more about that later, that is, if i actually accomplish anything!
oh and i found my camera wednesday night, hallelujah. so my blog will be complete with photos.
thursday
is not my favorite day, really. it is daddy day, and they usually do something fun, like go to the zoo, and on my days home, i usually do housework. cooking. cleaning.
part of me is resentful about this and part of me can only blame myself. tonight, when i am tired and going to the grocery store after work, i will wear my ipod to make it less irritating. it is not cool that this time is part of what i consider “mine”.
the perceived inequality in the chore load isn’t my imagination, but i say “perceived” because i know my husband just doesn’t see it.
the chore chart will be my project on saturday after work.
this is me
here is my space, my real space, where i will write from my heart and mind about my daily life as a mother, which has become an inextricable facet of my identity, and one i am proud to embrace. being a mother has galvanized me and i need a place to process my thoughts and feelings, from the mundane to the profound. this will be that place. my life is caring for my self, my family, my home. my work life is caring for others, my clients who at this time are adolescent drug users. my passions are almost all connected to something listed here. i am trying to incorporate more self care, because honestly, i went back and edited that sentence up there when i realized i had actually written “home” before “self”. i love my family and my home and probably even my career more than i love my actual self, and that is the real underlying hope of this blog; that i might uncover why i have a hard time treating myself as well as i treat others.
that, and to keep track of my life. my pictures of my boy, recipes, lists, epiphanies, rants, ya know, all of that.
